I may be a startled elderly lesbian out of touch with the youth but I don’t think we should apply the same arbitrary rule across all relationships

As an incorrigibly online 42-year-old woman, I have always known that the day would come when I would find myself out of touch with the youth. Even though I consider myself “hip to the jive”, I’ve always anticipated that one day I won’t understand a reference, and my finger bones will simply be too tired to look it up. That I’ll have an interaction with a teen and they will say a word I’ve never heard before, or use it in the wrong context, and it will confuse and startle me, like an elderly horse. It is natural and correct. We all age and need to triage our energy into other things, like getting through the days.

What I didn’t expect, in the year 2025, was to be at odds with many young people on subjects associated with sex and dating. Generally I consider this a “none of my business” area, like maths and the internal lives of men, and am very happy to be blissfully ignorant of whatever the youth are up to inside the bedroom. But I keep encountering their commentary surrounding Problematic Age Gaps (PAGs).

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